santaporn

How to eat junk food and stay lean for christmas: The art of Deplete and Replete

Christmas is almost here, and it’s quite obvious that all of you have celebrations and gatherings, and these gatherings and celebrations will have 4 necessary things that I’m sure cannot be avoided by most:

1. Lots of food

2. Lots of alcohol

3. Drunken people passed out on the toilet

4. Fisticups and a possible orgy

5. (bonus) Those STUPID christmas songs and movies!

porcelain-prayers

You’ll know one of these people, I’m sure.

Today I’m going to talk about how you can have all that good food and alcohol, minimize the fat gain (and even LOSE fat!) and not be an intolerable person to be with because, well, gains and whatever else, use these occasions to your advantage and possibly get laid whilst doing so.

As for some quick advice on drunken people on the toilets and fisticups and possible orgies? I would say for best results have them all together and not leave them separate so everyone can choose how to have a good time, and also, bring protection (that means a mouth guard for the fisticups, condoms so you don’t catch the aids, and a pillow so you don’t wake up the next morning with a concussion from being passed the fudge out)

homeparty

Best example of how it should be done at a home party minus the fisticups, although, buddy on the toilet is doing it wrong.

And what about the ridiculous movies and songs? Play the fudge out of slayer or devildriver, full blast, any song will do, I recommend god hates us all, angel of death for slayer and the mountain or swinging the dead for devildriver for such an occasion. As for movies, bring your own xmas DVD and make it something that holds the tradition of being watched yearly such as terminator, die hard, or just good ol’ fashion porn, because, anything else is better than those xmas movies!

santaporn

If you’re watching a movie that begins with this at the start of the film, then, you’re doing it right.

Now before we get to the good stuff, a word of warning: if you are someone who has a lot of bodyfat, A LOT, this is NOT going to help you, and you WILL still be where you are: someone with a lot of bodyfat (nice way of saying you’re fat.) The leaner you are, the better this will work. I’ll tell you why at the end.

For now, onward we commence to what will be your secret weapon that I call deplete and replete!

How to not get fat and eat junk: The art of deplete and replete

Before I get to WHY this will work, I want to give you all the necessary steps so you can  implement this right away since you were probably meant to, well, yesterday!

  1. Leading up to the event of feasting and drunken fun: at least 5-6 days you will cut all carbohydrates out and focus only on two things to eat: Fat and Protein and non-starchy vegetables. So basically all you’ll eat is fatty type meat and leafy greens, and you can also take protein powder to get your needs, just make sure it isn’t that awful stuff with other additives in it. It’s also important at this point to TRAIN as often as possible.
  2. ON the day: Eat like you normally are already doing, but when the event starts, go ahead and eat and drink! Don’t skimp on food either, eat as much as you want! As for drinking however, it’s best to stick to non-sugary drinks such as bourbon whiskey, 100% agave tequila, red wine, vodka etc. (more on this in a second). If possible, to really maximize the benefits you’ll get from eating this way, and/or minimize the fat gain, you should have a good training session on the day, preferably close as possible to the event.
  3. The next day: go back to eating like you were leading up to the event, but this time eat more leaner types of meat for this day. The day after, resume to the fatty types of meat etc, repeat until next event.

That’s basically it step by step. I’ll give even more specifics soon, such as how an example day would look like, but in the mean time I’m going to tell you WHY this will work and what the benefits of eating this way are to keep you lean and enjoying December or any other event for that matter.

Why this will work: the art of deplete and replete

Deplete means to use up the supply and resources of something, and this is exactly what we are going to do for a good reason. Remember, carbohydrates are stored in your muscle, and the fat you have is simply reserve energy waiting to be used if the body doesn’t think you are starving.

When you are faced with a buffet of food, especially with gatherings, carbohydrates usually has an over-abundance (think cakes, pastas, stir-frys, dessert, etc) of deliciousness! To top that off, alcohol consumption is going to make you put on fat from those carbohydrates since when you ingest alcohol, the carbohydrates aren’t being used, nor is your fat stores, because alcohol itself will be your body’s energy source until it’s out of your body.

Not only that, but with a massive influx of calories that you’re going to eat, you can be 100% certain you’re going to pack on the weight.

So with all that being said, one needs a strategy to counteract all of this, and that is why, Depleting your body on purpose, days leading up to this awesomeness,  you’re going to make your body put the food to good use rather than store it 100% completely.

That means if you deplete your glycogen stores (the carbohydrates stored in your body) to zero, and have lower calories than usual the days leading up, and continue to train (right before making your body think it’s in a famine), when it’s time to eat a feast good enough for the hulk, juggernaut and me combined, your body will have “room” to fill those glycogen stores, and instead of getting fatter, your body will use the food you have to muscle and it will set you up for further fat loss in the upcoming days because your body now doesn’t think it’s starving after you put it through the days of lower calories, making it think it was!

Still don’t believe me? Then let’s quickly delve some of the benefits depleting yourself entirely, and overfeeding:

The brief science behind depleting yourself and overfeeding yourself

There is a hormone in the body that is responsible for our hunger levels and to be aware if we are actually in a famine. This hormorne is called leptin. If leptin levels are high (body doesn’t think it’s starving) the body will be happy to release fat, but will also store it easier, and if they are low (body think it’s starving) it’s going to hold on to fat, eat away at your muscles, and slow down metabolism.
Control this hormorne you’ll control your fat loss and fat gain.

The reason why it is good to restrict carbohydrates leading up to when you decide to overeat, and while having fatty meat is fine is because when you do overeat and you have your abundance of carbohydrates, carbohydrates have a more significant effect on increasing leptin (in overfeeding with carbohydrates alone “increased plasma leptin concentrations by 28%”) while fat does not (in overfeeding with fat alone “did not significantly change plasma leptin concentrations”) (1).

So as for benefits?

  • Increases the response from your adrenal glands and replenish your sex hormones plus speed up your metabolism (speed up metabolism if the meal was a mix of carbohydrates and fats) (2).
  • “leptin may have a stimulating effect on fat oxidation…subjects with greater leptin sensitivities are more successful in reducing weight.” (3).
  • makes you keep on losing fat (4) while preserving muscle
food

The gains are real. I can eat pizza, be awesomely ripped, and win the internet just like this picture. This is how a weekend should look like when worried about fat loss.

Pizza and ribs gains along with vodka? You’re goddamn right! With the science out of the way, let’s see now what a typical week might look like, and suggestions for you to use.

An example week of deplete and replete

Day 1:

3 standard meals. Breakfast and lunch will be smaller meals, and dinner will be the biggest meal. So Breakfast can be something like a shake filled with blueberries (not other fruit, the only fruit that is allowed on this is berries!), lunch can be chicken wings with salad on the side and dinner can be steak and eggs in butter. You can have 1-2 serves of protein shakes for snacks if you’re hungry throughout the day.

Day 2:

Let’s just say this day is going to be a hard training day full of deadlifts, squats and whatever insane stuff you got planned. Or maybe you were just trying to impress the sexy gym bunny and in order to win her lust, you decide to pack on the heaviest weight, and proceed to crush the souls of every other gym goer, and ride off with that said gym bunny, that now has turned into your sexy devil nymph thereafter. Well, on this day, you can either up the protein shakes to bigger serves or add more shakes if the day is busy and you can’t be bothered making anything, or you can eat more for lunch (like have a nice big omelette, or have a T-bone steak).

Day 3-5

Do the same as day one or day 2

Day 6: This will be the last day before the day of the overfeeding, and to make sure everything is actually depleted, you’re going to have a lower calorie day by sticking with lean meats for your meat choices only. That means chicken without the skin for instance or non-fatty fish. Yes this will be a boring day, but this will ensure you’re good to go for next day.

Day 7: The day itself

For the day leading up to the event, you can eat as per normal and have carbohydrate type food if the day is going to be an all day event so go hard and eat hearty! If the event is happening at night, just remember one thing: EAT! Don’t skimp on the meal, don’t worry about putting fat on (you won’t) eat eat eat! EAT! Fudging DO IT! Eat like a rampaging viking!

viking-sneer

And no, do not dress up like this, it is not required for the fat loss gains. For all that is good and holy if you are over 35 and dressing up like this you’ve failed at life. Not pictured: testicles.

Day 8: The next day

The next day, you want to take advantage of the fact that your body now doesn’t think it’s starving and is primed up for more fat loss, so do the same as you did on day 6, and the next day repeat like how you did on day 1.

Other tidbits to help you out further: Alcohol

Firstly, to really maximize your meal, and especially if you’re going to drink, as I’ve said before, stick with non-sugary drinks and mixes.

Secondly, as I mentioned, weight train as close as possible to the event. Not cardio yourself to oblivion, I mean strength train (and for the slow today, LIFT STUFF, mofo!) The reason is because there appears to be some evidence that testosterone is actually increased more so for longer when a alcoholic beverages has been taken as opposed if you didn’t have a drink! (5).

Although, please take caution with this, since I suspect the study I linked with that claim means that the androgen receptors are, lack for a better term, broken down from the alcohol consumption listed, and hence the reason there were higher concentrations of alcohol in the blood stream. Plus there’s no getting around it, alcohol is bad for the liver. But since we are after all talking about just purely how you look, this seems to be the best time to ingest alcohol (after training), and assuming you’re going to drink more than usual at said event, then you might as well make it of more benefit to you.

If you all want more information on a write up how alcohol will effect your fat loss, I did an article awhile back on it you can check HERE.

Other tidbits to help you out further: Supplements

Of course, eating this way is going to mean a few things for your health:

1. You’ll lack most vitamins and minerals (especially if you skimp on the vegetables)

2. Your digestion is going to work overtime

3. If you drink a lot, then your liver is obviously going to take a beating.

So, while it’s not necessary to take supplements, it will at least keep your health in check and hold everything together so to speak. So apart from a protein powder recommendation, I’m going to recommend a multi-vitamin, a digestive enzyme, and a liver support supplement.

Hands down, best multi-vitamin to take is an Animal pak (which even has liver support already, and has some digestive enzymes too)

The best of the best there is more than 10 years crowned best multi. Click picture to get it cheap on amazon

It’s hard to come by a multi like this, especially when it’s got everything I suggested already to think about. Go check it out HERE.

Digestive enzymes

These are simply to help you digest your food much easier from the gastronomical feat you’ll put your body through. You’ve probably heard that bromelian, an enzyme from pineapple, digests protein in your body better, same with papayas, etc. And of course, you know that digestion is important. So if you want to skip the animal pak, and get something cheaper, then you can’t beat NOW foods super enzymes.

You can click on the picture or click HERE to check it out.

Liver support

Lastly, I believe this is definitely a must for heavy drinkers out there, or if you’re going to binge drink. This will help you not have such a bad hang over, and your liver will thank you. Not only that, but since protein synthesis is going to not be the best because the liver is busy with the alcohol, this can only help you with making sure your protein meals are being used effectively on the night of your feast or otherwise. Uniliver is the cheapest and best choice here

250 tablets for under $15 on amazon. Other products I’ve found cost A LOT more, and you’re getting ripped off. So check that out HERE.

Other tidbits to help you out further: Why having a lot of bodyfat and doing this is not going to be ideal

Now here is where I promised to tell you why if you have a lot of bodyfat, you’re only going to hinder yourself further, and if you are reasonably lean, at least, I’ve given you the green light doing this way of eating.

Going back to leptin, we already know that if leptin stores are high you can easily put fat on and have an easier time losing it. People with a lot of body fat already have a significant amount of leptin, and therefore, lack for a better phrase, the fat get fatter. So if you have a lot of bodyfat, then I’m sorry to say, you’re going to have to earn your right to eat, and should focus on getting disciplined because no eating strategy is going to hep you unless you get that part sorted first. For lots of body fat I would say it would be men over 25%, and women over 30% that shouldn’t attempt this.

“leptin are increased in proportion to body fat stores as a result of increased production in enlarged fat cells from obese subjects” (6)”
For those of you who are in this predicament, my best advice is have a caloric intake that is suitable for you to lose fat and stick with that until you are leaner.

Too long didn’t read?

Then you suck. But the strategy once again is as follows:

Train frequently, every day if possible

Cut out carbohydrates and eat meat and vegetables days leading up to the event and focus on protein.

Feast at event.

Repeat.

This is good because you can get ripped and strong off pizzas, scotch, and cake, and still have fun whilst being on santa’s naughty list.

sexysanta

I wasn’t talking about old man pedofile “I break into your house at midnight and eat your cookies like an anushole” santa either. Nope, this is my version of santa, and I’ve deserved this being on the naughty list because I don’t eat boring chikcen and broccoli all day everday like someone on Santa’s good list

And there we have it! Eat your steaks, lift your weights, Eat your pizzas, and have your orgies! All while getting leaner!

Pain Doesnt Hurt

UNITED STATES - FEBRUARY 07: THE BACHELOR: OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN - "Episode 1002" - As 15 bachelorettes settle into a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, the fairy tale begins. On his first group date, Andy and seven striking ladies take the Sunset Strip by storm with an evening of cocktails and bull riding that ends in the hot tub. Bevin can't handle the competition, becoming irritated, and seethes over perceived slights. Then one lucky bachelorette is singled out to spend a romantic evening aboard the Bachelor's private yacht, on "The Bachelor: Officer and a Gentleman," MONDAY, APRIL 9 (9:30-11:00 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (Photo by Adam Larkey/ABC via Getty Images)

Like my PAGE if you too are going to have a merry xmas in the spa.

 

 

References

1. Dirlewanger, M., di Vetta, V., Guenat, E., Battilana, P., Seematter, G., Schneiter, P., Jequier, E., Tappy, L. Effects of short-term carbohydrate or fat overfeeding on energy expenditure and plasma leptin concentrations in healthy female subjects.

2. Matsumoto, T., Miyawaki, C., Ue, H., Kanda, T., Yoshitake, Y., Moritani, T. (2001). Comparison of thermogenic sympathetic response to food intake between obese and non-obese young women.

3) Verdich, C. et al. (2001, August 9). Leptin levels are associated with fat oxidation and dietary-induced weight loss in obesity. Obes Res. (8):452-61.

4) Heymsfield, S.B. et al. (1999, October 27). Recombinant leptin for weight loss in obese and lean adults: a randomized, controlled, dose-escalation trail. JAMA. 282(16):1568-75.

5) Vingren JL, Hill DW, Buddhadev H, Duplanty A. Post-Resistance Exercise Ethanol Ingestion and Acute Testosterone Bioavailability. Med Sci Sports Exerc. 2013 Mar 6.

6) Rosenbaum M., et al. Low-dose leptin reverses skeletal muscle, autonomic, and neuroendocrine adaptations to maintenance of reduced weight. . J. Clin. Invest. 2005;115:3579–3586. doi: 10.1172/JCI25977.

 

 

 

 

 

Got something to say? Here\'s the microphone, let\'s hear it!

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field